I was thinking this morning about how often I hear about the damage that can be done through negative self-talk.  Much of the information about damaging self-talk includes the things we say about ourselves to others, but I don’t recall ever hearing about the damaging things we say about others. I think it’s very easy for us to be judgmental of other people. However, when we are judging someone else, we are often pointing out things we don’t like about ourselves. Every year during the holidays, my husband and I like to go to Old Town and walk around the square at night. There are decorations and lights and not many people. It’s very peaceful and relaxing and gives us a chance to just breathe and reconnect with one another. On one of those nights, we saw a couple and their two children walking to their car. The mom was carrying a toddler and the dad was holding the hand of another child who looked to be about 4. The mom was wearing a mini dress and high heeled boots and my first thought was something to the effect of “a mom of young children should not be wearing that.” There was nothing wrong with what she was wearing. She looked amazing. What was wrong was my perception of who I was as a mom that I imposed on her. For the first time it was clear to me the things that I said and thought about others were more of a reflection of myself and who I wanted to be and how I felt about myself. I made a decision that night to begin the hard work of recognizing when I am judging others, and especially when I am judging others because I am unhappy with some part of myself. It has made a huge difference in my mental and emotional health. Somehow, by working not to judge others, I have stopped judging myself so harshly. By giving others space and grace to be human, I give myself more space and grace to be human. That is an amazing thing for my mental and emotional self.



In thinking about things you say about yourself or others, whether out loud or only in your head, are your words loving and kind and gracious? How would it feel if you only said kind things to and about yourself? Can you admit that you are wonderful and amazing and terrific just as you are right now? You are absolutely worth celebrating, so please take a moment to do that!

And have a great weekend!